Checking In

An hour back, when the television had gone quiet and I was settling into my familiar hush, I was doing the small, ordinary rituals that end my day — switching off gadgets, straightening the hall, moving towards the bedroom. And then came a sudden, heavy bang against the window.

Xena stirred. Zuri woke up.

I turned back.

Perched on the railing of the hall window was a black kite — one of those great, ubiquitous birds of Mumbai that I have watched all my life, usually from far below, their silhouettes cutting slow, elegant arcs across blue skies and white clouds. But this time it was here. At my window. Close enough to meet my eyes through the glass.

It did not panic. It did not shy away.

It simply stood there.

As a child, I had always watched them — from the balcony of our Bandra home, sometimes beside my grandmother, sometimes alone. I would follow their flight for long minutes, losing myself in their effortless gliding, riding invisible thermal currents with a grace that felt almost unreal. Wings, feathers, sky — they became symbols long before I had the language for symbolism.

During difficult school years, when things were unkind and heavy, the song Wind Beneath My Wings found its way into my life. The idea of being held aloft by something unseen lodged itself quietly in my imagination. As a Gemini, an air sign, I always felt strangely attuned to flight — to movement, to the freedom of altitude, to the idea of rising above without force.

And now, at this juncture of my life — nearly fifty, standing on the edge of leaving this house to return to my mother’s home, with both my kids, Xena and Zach, very unwell — this bird arrived.

I have been holding myself together with a very thin, polite front. Loss, I understand. I have learned how to sit with it. What weighs heavier these days is the world itself — its cruelty, its relentless hunger for power and money, its refusal to soften. None of this is new, and yet I feel it more keenly now, as if the volume has been turned up.

The kite remained there while I took photographs and videos, its feathers ruffled slightly by the morning air. When I opened the door, Zuri rushed out, spotted the bird instantly, and froze — then barked in sheer terror, her bravery collapsing into panic. I had to shepherd her back inside; Xena had already checked out the hall and finding nothing amiss had retreated. The bird stayed, unbothered, watching.

Eventually, I stepped away. The kids wouldn’t stay in the room if I was out, after that.

I do not know how long it remained after that. But the fact that it stayed at all — that it did not flee even reminded me of something I had long forgotten: stillness can also be a form of courage.

In many mythological traditions, birds of prey carry layered meanings. Eagles are often seen as messengers of the divine, symbols of power, vision, and transcendence — creatures that bridge earth and sky. Kites and hawks, closer cousins, are associated with watchfulness, adaptability, and survival. In Indian folklore especially, birds that circle high are sometimes seen as guardians — not saviours, not omens, but witnesses. They see the whole picture from above.

In ancient symbolism, such birds appear not to predict events but to remind. To lift the gaze. To suggest perspective when the ground feels unbearably close.

I do not want to romanticise this too much. I am wary of assigning meaning where there may be none. Nature does not owe us messages. Sometimes a bird is simply a bird.

And yet.

This has never happened to me before — not like this. Kites have landed on pipes on terraces, have watched me from heights, have shared space from a respectful distance. But never like this: eye to eye, separated only by a pane of glass, unafraid.

Whether I communed with nature, or nature briefly acknowledged me — or whether this was nothing more than coincidence — I cannot say. But it left me calmer than I have felt in days. Not hopeful, exactly. Just steadied.

As if something ancient had paused, looked in, and reminded me that even in a world obsessed with conquest and noise, there are still beings who know how to glide — who expend no unnecessary energy, who trust the currents, who wait.

And perhaps, for now, that is enough.

A Global Look at Right-Wing Hostility Toward Animals

Across the world, animals are becoming collateral damage in a political culture that celebrates dominance over empathy. The pattern is disturbingly clear: whenever right-wing politics ascends, compassion for non-human beings descends. What varies is not the outcome, but only the scale.

India: Where Stray Lives Are Treated as Disposable

In India, the tension between development, majoritarian politics, and animal welfare has reached a breaking point. The Supreme Court’s recent verdict actually moves toward culling stray animals because shelters are just not equipped here to host the sheer volume of animals. This reveals how fragile and conditional compassion can be. Cows may be sacralised for cultural reasons, but street dogs, cats, and countless other beings exist in a legislative vacuum. This is not to say, by clear evidence, that cows are treated better. They are not.

Animal activists routinely face harassment, threats, and even physical assault. Their work is dismissed as “anti-development”, “elitist”, or oddly, “anti-national”. The message is chillingly clear: empathy outside the ideological script is unwelcome.

The contradiction at the heart of Indian politics could not be starker. A civilisation that once spoke of ahimsa now debates how best to eliminate the creatures who live alongside us. Animal rights, as a legal concept, barely exist. Welfare boards and NGOs operate with fewer protections than the animals they’re trying to save.

United States: The Trumpian Assault on Conservation

Across the ocean, the United States has witnessed its own war on the natural world under Donald Trump. His administration rolled back dozens of environmental and conservation policies, opening protected lands—including the Arctic—to oil drilling and mining. Wolves, bears, and endangered species lost protections painstakingly built over decades.

More than policy, though, it was the disdain embedded in the rhetoric that revealed the shift. Trump mocked Greta Thunberg, a child demanding climate responsibility, not because he misunderstood the science but because empathy itself threatened his worldview.

Right-wing populism thrives on the performance of strength, and in that performance, the planet and its creatures become expendable props.

A Global Pattern: Strength Without Stewardship

Globally, right-wing governments—from Brazil under Bolsonaro to parts of Eastern Europe—share a familiar pattern:

Environmental protections weakened in favour of extractive industries. Wildlife treated as a nuisance when it interrupts development. Animal advocates vilified as radicals or enemies of progress. Traditional practices defended uncritically, even when inherently cruel.

The ideology is not built on stewardship but on supremacy—of humans over animals, of industry over ecology, of political identity over compassion.

What makes this pattern dangerous is its universality. Whether it is a street dog in Delhi, a wolf in Alaska, or a rainforest species in Brazil, the message is uniform: if a life cannot vote, pay taxes, or further political symbolism, it can be discarded.

Why Right-Wing Politics So Often Collides with Animal Welfare

Several threads connect these global examples:

Hyper-nationalism reframes empathy as weakness. Development-first agendas ignore ecological and ethical costs. Cultural absolutism defends cruelty when it is traditional. Anti-activist sentiment treats compassion-driven movements as political threats. Masculinity politics turns care into a liability.

These attitudes create a world where the voiceless remain unheard, and those who speak on their behalf are targeted.

The Cost of This Indifference

When animal lives are treated as disposable, societies lose far more than biodiversity—they lose moral clarity. The willingness to mistreat animals normalises brutality. It makes violence thinkable, then permissible, and finally, invisible.

A society that cannot protect its weakest beings eventually struggles to protect its own people.

Choosing Empathy in an Unempathetic Age

Not every right-wing individual hates animals. But the ideological machinery that dominates right-wing politics today prioritises power, extraction, and cultural symbolism over care. In that machinery, animals simply do not count.

The task for the rest of us is urgent. We must insist on laws that recognise animals as sentient beings, not nuisances. We must support activists who put their bodies on the line where institutions fail. And we must remember a simple truth: a civilisation is not judged by the slogans of its leaders, but by how it treats those who have no voice.

If the world continues on this path of sanctioned cruelty, it is not only animals who will be lost—our own humanity will erode with them.

Ghosts Over Trolls

My relationship with the online world didn’t begin with grand ambitions. It began, quite simply, with fun. Facebook since 2007, insta, Snapchat since 2012. 

In 2015, i had about 10k followers on insta and I found myself on Musical.ly — that strange, playful little app where people lip-synced, danced, and made short sketches without worrying about who was watching. It was light, it was silly, and it made me happy.

Around 2018 came TikTok, and suddenly those little videos of mine grew into something bigger. I found a rhythm, a voice, a community — and before I knew it, there were tens of thousands of people following along. 

Somewhere in that same period, someone I loved introduced me to League of Legends. The graphics were fantastic, the characters intoxicating, and the gameplay chaotic in the best way. But the chat? The chat was a battlefield of its own. Vitriol, insults, casual abuse… the kind of ugliness that makes you switch to “versus AI” permanently. I loved the game; I just couldn’t stand the people in it.

By 2020, League itself faded out of my life — and TikTok was banned in India. Almost overnight, I lost a space where I’d been creative, confident, and oddly free. The pandemic arrived like a dark tide. Grief hit. Heartbreak hit. And lockdown pushed all of us into our screens, whether we were ready or not.

Instagram, which I’d casually used since 2012, suddenly became my living room. Reels launched around June 2020, and with TikTok gone, I poured myself into Instagram. I spoke about my identity, my sexuality, my mental health, my history — the things that had shaped me. I went live for hours; sometimes ten, sometimes twelve. I made friends across continents. I healed in front of strangers who somehow didn’t feel like strangers at all.

But then the trolls arrived.

They always do. First they ruined Twitter, then they seeped into Instagram, and now they’re infesting Threads as well. What I endured in school — the taunts, the mockery, the homophobia — began repeating itself in digital form. The cruelty of social media became impossible to ignore. 

And the videos… that was the final blow.

Animals suffering. Forests burning. Humans being monstrous to the planet and to each other.

It crushes something inside me every time I see it. I can last about half an hour on Instagram now before my heart feels scraped raw.

So I began to step away. Slowly. Quietly.

And then came the turning point: late 2023. I bought myself a PS5. A gift, a distraction, a lifeline — I’m still not sure. All I knew was that my mind needed a quieter place to exist.

I entered the world of Hogwarts Legacy first — a universe I had known since my twenties and thirties. The nostalgia soothed me, even though I’ve had to firmly separate the art from the artist. Then Assassin’s Creed Odyssey opened up an entirely different dimension. I roamed through ancient Greece with Kassandra — the Pantheon, the Colosseum, the cradle of the Olympics. Places I had only seen in books were suddenly alive around me. It was a form of time travel I had not known was possible.

And then Ghost of Tsushima arrived — and that, truly, changed everything.

To gallop across fields of purple flowers. To stand beneath ginkgo trees shedding gold. To write haiku beside quiet waters. To sink into a digital hot spring and breathe, slowly, deeply, finally.

These moments — pixelated though they may be — brought me peace that the real world has not offered for a long time.

Gaming, for me, is not escapism.

It is refuge.

A sanctuary from noise, cruelty, and the relentless sadness of what we humans are doing to the planet I love so fiercely.

I don’t know why holding a controller quietens my overthinking mind. But it does. And so I return to these worlds often. Worlds filled with beauty, meaning, and silence.

And perhaps that is enough.

Perhaps that is everything.