I may be a poet –
I think it must be true;
Because I write in rhyme;
When I think of you.
It’s simple and it’s plain
That love makes lyrics flow;
I’ve read poets in love
And think it must be so.
But you don’t like to write,
Or read my contrived rhyme –
So then are you in love?
Or am I wasting time?
Or maybe I am bad,
In words and loving you?
I think I am a poet –
But now don’t know what’s true
?
Hearts Still Care 
You already know the answer to this. Everyone loves differently. I think this poem is for your new partner. If that is the case, To answer your question on why doesn’t he write for you. Well, take you and Anand for example, as it was said in that podcast, your love is beautiful and his love is dutiful. Maybe, this guy has his own way of expressing love. And to answer your question on why doesn’t he read your poems? Well, i honestly don’t know the answer to that. Maybe, if you told him hey , i have written This one for you & i would like you to read it, he might. People in general don’t read blogs much, atleast people i know in real life. However, if i write a thank you note or an apology note for my best friend and send it to her, she usually reads it . Other than that even my closest friends don’t read my blogs, so i guess , people in general are not into blogs. That’s just my guess, i could be wrong. Also, your partner is, if i am not wrong,is 19 & closted. Give him some time and space (i am sure you have already done that)so that he can be himself , only then will he be able to express his love. Only then will he figure out if he loves you and can bring to the table what you want in a relationship. Now you might say, i have already done that. But , my dear , you are in love with him. You can’t see things objectively right now. You want him to love you back , jaldi se jaldi. In my case, it’s my friends who can see what’s going on in my relationship better than me. Because they have an objective , third person view of the situation. In your case, i think Anand could be your go to guy for this sort of thing. You have already committed to this person, let him figure out if he can / wants to be committed to you. Till then, take it one day at a time. I know, you hold your breath to see if it will last, but in doing so, you are losing out on the time that you have with him right now. Best case scenario, it lasts. So , the wait was worth it. Worst case, it doesn’t, then you haven’t even enjoyed the time with him because you are fixated on the future. Just accept the fact that relationship don’t always last. Make that a default instead of an exception. Now, how to internalise that? Threapy is the only suggestion i have. Three years in threapy & i am still working on internalising my self worth. It’s a process, not a flick of a switch. You won’t be able to go from, i want him to write poems for me, to , hey, this might or might not last, so I’ll enjoy the present moment in a day, or a week, or a month. If you start working on it, you will find that the things that used to make you super anxious, are becoming manageable, though the anxiety is still there. But then again, we go into a threapy session thinking we’ll talk about this particular thing, and then the session takes it own course, and other things take forefront of that session . So , keep going back to sessions. That’s all I can advise.
Also, don’t put much stock from advice from single folks who have not been in a proper realation ship in their lives 😀😀.
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