I have never asked for much.
Just to live the way You made me.
I have lived by my terms alone.
Those were conducted honestly.
No great ambition, no low vice,
Yet I’ve suffered loss, greatly so;
But I have shown no cowardice
And this is something You do know.
You put one hubris in my heart:
This need that burns within my core.
You caressed it thrice with your pawns
Ultimately, I was Your whore.
You threw down love, like ‘twas my fee,
For all that I have given You.
Maybe my mistake was calling you Father
After lying before you naked and true.
I love You. But don’t treat me thus!
It’s unfair to make me desire.
On giving, you make me Your whore
But know that makes You my buyer.
If You need revenge of some sort,
You are exacting it quite well,
And in the pain of my loved ones
You are creating my hell.
People talk of life after death;
But, oh, I know the truth so well,
Each smile You let is my heaven,
Each tear You force is my hell.
5:45am
7th October.
Hearts Still Care 
Reading this makes me realise that he magnitude of suffering , the amount mental agony was a lot. The worse part is that it was conflicted by someone from whom we expect love and care. I went through something similar with one of my parents once, though on a much much smaller scale. And the song yaar Bina Dil mera from Junnon suddenly starting making a lot of sense. As my doctor once said, painful breakups are not limited to romantic relationships, they can be there in our relationship with a parent or a friend as well.
LikeLike